there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
