i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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