He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
