I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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