New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
