i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm sobbing to NWA
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
