Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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