I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
