he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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