I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm at about main and main street
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
