You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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