He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
