So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
