I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
