Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
