I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
