I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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