Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
