she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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