I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
