Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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