it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
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