Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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