So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize