He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
