i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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