That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
