scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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