that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There are leaves in my underwear?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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