remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize