So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
