The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
as a side note pls kill me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
