Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
