so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
