My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
