youre lurking in front of me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
