You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
