My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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