We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
