That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize