Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
