***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize