Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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