Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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