Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
