Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize