drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
