omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
