Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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