the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize