I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
