Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
