Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
