your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
