the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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