The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
