Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
That's how pantless uber rides happen
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
