So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
