Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
