R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have fence marks all over my body
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize