so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize