I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
