Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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