I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
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