The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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