This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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