The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
