i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
