i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
