He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
